Trent's Perspective

http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerindex?id=5055588
Retrieved from abcnews.go.com on Decemeber 16, 2009.

I found this video on siblings with autism. It prompted me to write about Taren’s little brother, Trent, and I often wonder how he is affected by autism. We were shopping one day at Walgreens and Trent as usual was chattering away. He greeted just about every person we came into contact with. When we were checking out Trent was still chattering away and talking to the cashiers. People really get a kick out Trent because he is so funny. The cashiers were just loving the boys and saying how cute they were. They also said-about Trent-this one here is a talker isn’t he? Your other child is really quiet. I just said that with Trent, Taren can’t get a word in edgewise. While I was loading the children in the car, Trent who is only four, asked me, “Mommy, why doesn’t bubby talk to me.” That really caught me off guard. How do I autism to a four year old? I tried to explain that bubby has autism and right now his autism doesn’t let him talk to us right now. I explained that right now mommy and his teachers are trying to help him talk or at least communicate with us with pictures. He said, “Why does he have tism? I want him to talk to me and play cars with me.” That really hurt me. At that moment, I couldn’t take just drive off. I had to sit in my car for a few minutes to gather my composure. I just said to him, that I hope that one day he talks to me too.

I realize that there is a possibility that my son may never speak to me but I remain hopeful. When your child doesn’t speak to you, sometimes there is that feeling that a part of your child is missing.

About Taren

Taren was a typically developing child up until 15 months old. Before he was able to say at least 6 words consistently which I believe was normal for that age. I remember when he used to look up at me, with his arms out and say, "Momma." Also, I remember his receptive language was typical. For example, if I asked Taren, "Now where is mommy's nose," he was able to point it out.

The regression of Taren’s development was gradual and I feel like I didn‘t notice as soon as I should have. Trent was born around the time and my life was overwhelming and busy. Around 18 months, I noticed he was not responding to his name and he wasn‘t saying the words that he knew on a regular basis. Initially, I thought he had a hearing problem because he had many ear infections. He was given a hearing test and as a expected, his hearing was below the normal range of hearing. Shortly after, ear tubes were placed in his ears. When these tubes were placed, I thought that it would be the end of his “hearing problem,” but it wasn’t.

After his surgery, he still did not respond to me and I became a little worried and I notified his pediatrician and was then referred to First Steps Early Intervention. He did receive early intervention but at first I wasn’t super worried. I thought that eventually he would respond and start saying his words again.

The Occupational Therapist at First Steps was working with Taren one day and said, “Have you ever considered the possibility of autism?” I was offended that she would say that and even considered switching to a new therapist. She said that he had a flat affect and I strongly disagreed. In my mind I was thinking--he just doesn’t like you. He smiles at me and shows expression with me. At this point, I had read a little bit about autism but I still didn’t know much. I had run across the possibility but I made up my mind that he didn’t have it because at one point he was saying words and understanding me.

As time went on, it was difficult to get him to say the words he learned early on and his receptive language was declining. I tried working with him at home and I was frustrated because he would stare off and he appeared not to understand me. I couldn’t work with him everyday because I hurt me. When I was pregnant with Taren, I had so many dreams for him and at the time, I felt like autism was going to take that away. I would work with him off and on because I just couldn’t deal with the fact that I lost my baby.

I try to block the pain of losing him by staying proactive and doing everything that I can but sometimes it catches up with me and I get so depressed. Sometimes I look at his baby photos and wish I could have him back.

Taren now at five is what you would consider non-verbal and at this time does not say any words consistently. His receptive language has improved some but he still has a long way to go.

We have done everything possible for Taren. He was in First Steps until the age of three but also receiving additional therapy through Cardinal Hill. At two years old the traditional daycare setting was not working for him so we moved him and we enrolled him into Child Development Center of the Bluegrass. They enroll and cater to both children with and without disabilities. Once he was enrolled in CDCB, they were the sole providers of his therapies. Now that Taren is five, he now attends kindergarten full-time.

I still have a lot to learn about autism but knowing what I know now, I am now hopeful about Taren’s future. I have to stay hopeful in order to keep pushing for Taren’s progress. I realize that I AM TAREN’S VOICE until the day he speaks.

Welcome to Taren's Corner!

I created this website because I have a 5 year old son with autism named Taren. I often have dreams about Taren and things are constantly going on in Taren’s world that I want to share. I often wonder whether other parents who have children on the spectrum feel the way I do or experiencing the same things we are experiencing. I want to share these dreams and experiences and I want to get feedback (respectful please) from anyone who feels that they can offer insight, experiences or any thoughts.